Beer for Breakfast

If you're going to lie around the house and drink beer all day, you've got to start early in the morning.

There are only three states left that have 3.2 percent alcohol level beer laws: Kansas, South Carolina and Utah. In the Land of Zion, the maximum alcohol content for beer and malt beverages is four percent by volume, or 3.2 percent by weight. Packaged beer is also available at supermarkets, grocery, and convenience stores. There are also lots of time restrictions and old Blue Laws still in effect here.

Recently, I stopped at a convenience store on my way home from buying some Mexican take-out to get a Corona. It was the middle of summer, and the temps were in the 90s at night. An ice cold Corona with my Macho Taco sounded great.
The first thing that stuck me as odd was when I attempted to open the door to the beer cooler at the store and found it was locked. It was rather late at night and I thought perhaps they had it locked for security reasons. I approached the counter and asked the clerk if she could get me a beer from the cooler. She seemed confused at my request and asked the other clerk if they could sell me a beer.
He replied, "No, sorry, it's Sunday and we can't sell you any beer tonight". Heck, I didn't even know what day it was, so I said, OK, "Could I just buy some cigarettes, then?" which they were happy to sell me. (Guess it depends upon the sin, as to which one they'll let you commit).
As he was ringing up my smokes, he said "Sorry about the beer, but we can't sell any beer until 7 am".
I started laughing and replied "Oh, ok, so it's cool to have beer for breakfast, but not with my late night taco?". He and the other clerk finally laughed, but I'm sure as soon as I left the store they began to pray for my heathen soul.

Just two months later, Utah has a whole new slew of anti-alcohol legislation being proposed. The only place to get "real" alcohol here is from Utah State-Owned liquor stores. There are a number of these stores cleverly hidden throughout the state. They are closed on Sundays, holidays and other designated times. Lack of competition keeps the selection severely limited. Prices for wine and liquor are fixed with a minimum of 61% mark-up over cost, plus high state taxes. For real beer, the mark-up is 75% plus taxes, making the retail cost of some six-packs well over $10. Because of all this, the small community of Evanston, Wyoming (located about 70 miles east of Salt Lake City just over the Utah border) enjoys a busy economy based on the large number of retail liquor stores located along Interstate 80.

Today, the Utah Attorney General made a presentation to the Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control Board regarding flavored malt beverages. He is proposing changes to the law so that malt liquors are sold only in state liquor stores and insists the drinks should be taken off grocery store shelves even though none of the beverages contain more than 3.2 percent alcohol, the same requirement for beer sold in grocery stores. The Utah Attorney General said "Experts are telling us that girls are favoring these products as opposed to beer. Many say they don't like the taste of beer, but the watermelon and other fruit flavors they do like." He explained that flavored malt beverages, or so-called "Alcoholpops," do not get their alcohol from the fermentation process like beer, but from alcohol-based flavorings that are added in. He said it's the manufacturers' way to avoid classifying these drinks as "distilled spirits," as in hard liquor.

One of the main issues with the drinks is how they look. "Mike's Hard Lemonade," for example, looks like lemonade but has an alcohol content of 3.2, just like beer.

"In one study it showed that over 40 percent of all ‘alcoholpops' produced are consumed by underage drinkers," said the chairman of the Utah Alcohol Policy Coalition. "These fruity flavored, soda pop-like beverages are teaching our kids how to drink," said the chairman of the citizen group Alcohol Policy Coalition, and called the flavored beverages "alcohol on training wheels".

Currently, beverages such as Mike's Hard Lemonade are treated like beer by the state. That means as long as the brewed beverages contain less than 3.2 percent alcohol, they can be sold outside state liquor stores and are taxed at a lower rate.If commissioners succeed in moving the beverages to the state's 38 liquor stores and 100 package agencies, with the markup of the beverages in state controlled stores being 86 percent, it would nearly double the cost of the beverages.


The Utah Alcoholic Beverage Control Commission will also decide whether to require retail stores to post more signs and warnings about alcohol contained in beverages such as Smirnoff Ice, Bacardi Silver and Jack Daniel's Original Hard Cola and energy drinks including Peels and Tilt. Restrictions also would make it illegal for taverns to sell the drinks, said the owner of B&B Billiards of Brigham City, who added "it's the only alternative to beer that I've got."

The state liquor warehouse and retail outlets don't have enough room to stock low-alcohol malt beverages. The Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control said it lacks refrigerated shelf space in its stores to handle the alcoholic colas, lemonade and fruit-flavored drinks, and its warehouse can't keep the perishable potables cold enough. "The first thing I wondered when I heard the attorney general's proposal was, 'Where are we going to put it? We don't have space in our stores.'" the ABC director said.

Many of the residents in the tourist town of Park City in Utah are unhappy with the passage of still more anti-alcohol laws by the state. “I’m mortified” said a Park City council member. “It’s just one more thing about Utah to laugh at. It’s embarrassing.” Another resident said the negative laws reinforce the perception that Utah is a “cultish state outside of mainstream America.” He said the problem is caused by teetotaling legislators regulating something they know nothing about. “It’s like finding someone who doesn’t know how to swim and asking them to organize a swim meet.” A resident of Salt Lake City said the State’s “out-of-touch laws are born in a fantasy world,” and are ineffective in imposing abstinence.

"What we're talking about here is fraud," the Utah Attorney General said of the malt-based beverages, created by taking much of the alcohol out of beer and substituting alcohol-based flavorings. One wonders about where the fraud is occuring, though. The fact is that alcohol sales through the state liquor stores provide a major source of income to the state's general fund. Recently, gross sales totaled $138 million with a net profit of $28 million. This profit was contributed to the general fund to "support state government operation". Isn't that exactly what writes the attorney general's paycheck? By moving the malt beverages from the grocery stores to state liquor stores it will increase the State of Utah's alcohol sales revenue even more. Hmmm...