Missing Case of M16s found at Hill Air Force Base

Note to self: after returning stolen rifles, turn yourself in, get a free pass to the unemployment office, a dishonorable discharge, or both. Other charges optional.
also in this story: WHAT A DUMBASS - LEAVING A NOTE! Let the handwriting analysis and fingerprinting begin (on the weapons, the pay phone and the note of apology)! Is everyone in Utah STUPID / BRAIN DEAD? In Miami, those rifles would already be on a boat headed toward South America! Here in Utah, they not only return them, but leave a NOTE OF APOLOGY!
Major Smith's comment about "return these weapons back" makes the grammar police in my head CRINGE. In addition, The AP story itself (which was written in Utah) contained a typo.

Case of rifles missing from Hill AFB found

HILL AIR FORCE BASE, Utah (AP) - Hill Air Force Base says a missing case of M-16 assault rifles has been found.
In an 11:30 press conference, officials said that an anonymous person calling from a Layton pay phone said that the rifles were back on that base at the horse stables.
Officials said the person likely had a change of heart. They thanks [sic] the media for the many reports on the story.
“I cannot thank you enough,” said Col Linda Meddler. “What you did in getting our story out, we really think made the difference in getting these weapons back to our installation. “We think that he saw these news reports and decided the best thing to do would be to return these weapons back,” said Major Shannon Smith.
Officials believe the case fell off a government truck while the vehicle was moving on the base Tuesday.
“This was a simple mistake,” said Smith. Someone forgot to put the tailgate up on the HUMV.”
The suspect is believed to have access to the base and has base credentials. They say the suspect left a note of apology.

“This gentleman has taken the first step to making this situation right but we really want to take this opportunity to tell him to take the next step and turn himself in,” said Smith.

No Bikinis allowed in Kanab, Utah city pool

from the "i suppose the nude mud wrestling is out, then?" dept:

AP NEWS RELEASE: KANAB, Utah - The Kanab city pool wants you to come swimming, but leave the skimpy swimsuits at home. The soon-to-open pool will prohibit bikinis, cutoffs and even Speedos. The measure is drawing fire from some locals, who say city officials have gone too far in promoting a pro-family atmosphere. Kanab Councilwoman Nina Laycook says the city will likely modify the rule, saying it was originally intended to outlaw thongs and similar styles of dress.

Here are some "appropriate" swimsuits for LDS women from Wholesome Wear


Extended Slimming Swimmer suits extend to the midarm (between the elbow and the wrist) and cover down to the lower leg (between the knee and the ankle). The outer garment is joined at the zipper to a Spandex under garment. The suit snaps between the legs for in water use and unsnaps for a modest out of water look.

YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY, BABY! NOT!!!!!!!

Hmmmm.... these remind me of something - ah yes, the "Burqini"





A burqini (or burkini) swimsuit is a swimsuit for Muslim women. The suit covers the whole body except the face, the hands and the feet (enough to preserve Muslim modesty), whilst being light enough to enable swimming. It was described as the perfect solution for Muslim women who want to swim but are uncomfortable about "revealing" bathing suits. It looks like a full-length wetsuit with built-in hood, but somewhat looser and made of swimsuit material instead of rubber.

Woman Calls Orem Police To Free Her From Her Locked Car

from the "I'm a Utah Blonde" dept:

Automatic car features are supposed to make life easier for motorists, but they may be leaving some people without the know-how to do things the old-fashioned way.

That’s what happened to a driver in Utah County who became trapped inside her own car.

A woman called Orem, Utah police Friday afternoon needing help because her battery died and she was locked inside her car.

When police arrived, they found the woman sitting in the car, unable to get herself out. She couldn’t hear the officers instructions through the rolled-up windows so she motioned to them to call her on her cell phone, according to police.

Once officers were able to talk to the woman on the phone, they were able to tell her how to manually operate the slide lock mechanism on the inside door panel to open the door and free herself.

“I'm just glad she had a cell phone to call for help,” an officer said.

Story from KUTV.com